i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
