Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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