I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
