will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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