I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
