How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
