Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i came on her dog
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
