stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
