She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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