i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
