I wish I could punch you in the face.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
