after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
