I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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