You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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