Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
