i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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