mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
