my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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