I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
