Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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