I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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