Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
