I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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