Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize