sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
