Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
