i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
