sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
