So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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