So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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