No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
