Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize