you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize