you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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