How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
