May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
