I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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