I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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