would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
