What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
so much tequila, so little girl.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
