All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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