I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
