Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize