mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
