After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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