just tell him i said nine months
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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