Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
