She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
