so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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