Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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