New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
