Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
