he shaved USA in his pubs
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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