I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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