I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize