Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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