I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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