Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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