haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
