um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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