Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
