Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
