I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize