i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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